Hi...
Well, this is a weird feeling. I'm not really sure how I've been gone for this long. So much has changed since I last opened up my blog and wrote a book review back in January 2021. Yes, it's been 2 years and 3 months since I last wrote a post here on this blog!
I apologise if this post ends up being a bit waffly or disjointed, but it's hard to work out exactly what to say. Like I said, so much has happened in the past two years that I'm not really sure how to start.
Actually, let's start by saying that although I will share some things about my life and what has been going on since January 2021, there are certainly a lot of things that I will be keeping to myself. This has been a private, very personal time and is something that I am still working through. Therefore, I won't share everything and give you a step-by-step rundown of it all. I will, however, tell you about a lot of the positive moments over the past 27 months and fill you in on what I plan to do moving forward.
So, grab a cup of tea and a snack; this could take a while...
Firstly, the main reason I took a break was for a very personal reason. Again, I won't go into every little detail but just know that I am happy, safe and settled now. I am living somewhere new, I'm with someone else, I'm in a new job and I have special people around me and supporting me.
I have had some incredible people supporting me, especially over the last few years, so I want to say a massive thank you to them - they know who they are! I've had people let me live with them, support me with my career progress, help me financially in difficult times and be there for me when things just got to be too much. My network have been so supportive, picking up the pieces and guiding me to where I am today, so a big thank you to them. I will never be able to fully express the love and gratitude I have for them.
During this time, I have lived in a few different places but I am now in my own place and it just feels like home. There's nothing better than coming home to this flat, where I am sat right now as I write this post, and knowing that this is my happy place. This is a place that I feel calm, happy and safe. A place I look forward to coming back to at the end of a working day. Of course, I'm not living here alone. I have an incredible boyfriend who has put up with so much, supported me through everything and pushed me to do things for myself. He has been especially supportive during my time of depression and anxiety, which has involved therapy and medication. I couldn't have done it without him. A lot of this time away from the blog has been mental health related, so there will probably be mental health posts and updates ahead as I start to use my blog again.
As I said, I am now with someone new during this time. Relationships are hard at times and sometimes they aren't what you thought they were, obstacles cannot be overcome or you fall out of love. I won't go into details because that is private and it obviously doesn't just involve me, so I will continue to keep this part of my life to myself. That's not information that's needed for the online world. Just know that I am happy, safe and doing well in my relationship.
Another huge change over the last couple of years is my job. During this time, I trained as a primary teacher - after years of telling myself that I would - and I am currently in my first year of teaching. I am in love with this job, the work that I'm doing and the difference I'm making. I know teachers are in the news a lot at the moment in the UK with the strike action, but this is truly the best job in the world. I am so excited to be just starting out on this career path and will share what I can with you about my education journey. I have resources and ideas that I have implemented that I would like to share at some point.
So, let's think about what this blog was before this long break and where it might be heading now. The truth is that I don't know what it's going to look like right now. I know that I want to get back into this more regularly because I have missed it and I definitely need something that I enjoy to do in my free time. A big part of my depression was the lack of enthusiasm to do things that I used to enjoy. This went for almost everything in my life, including blogging, bullet journaling, writing, reading, baking... anything that used to bring me joy was stopped for a very long time, but I'm trying. I'm trying to put myself back into these scenarios, trying to push myself to have a go at the things I used to love. This is the first step and we will see where it leads.
I want to get back into reviewing books. I was so lucky to have a class this year who adore reading and love books as much as I did at their age. We have read so many books as a class this year and this group of 7-8 year olds have made me fall back in love with reading again. Even if it's just reading children's books to see if my class will enjoy them, it's got me reading again and I owe it to this amazing, inspirational Year 3 class.
I also want to share more about mental health and wellbeing because there has been so much in this break that has massively helped on a huge number of occasions. I would also like to share some of my baking again, as well as some cooking too as I've become a lot more interested in this in the past year in particular. There's so many ideas in my head and so much I could do, so now I just need to push myself to do it!
I hope this long, rambling blog post makes some sense. In a nutshell, just know that I've had a lot going on during this time but I'm fine and I hope to get back into blogging as much as possible when time allows. Teaching is a very busy job that I am extremely committed to, but I hope to still make time on certain evenings and at weekends to write.
Thank you if you've read this far. Now, I must go and get myself settled with my book. It's World Book Night tonight and reading our is from 7-8pm, so I'm going to choose a new book and curl up with my weighted blanket.
Until next time,
Janay x
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